Thursday, 21 March 2013

Letting go of hope

I'm still on track with not trying to manage my addicts. I feel like I'm in my own recovery program oddly enough. The way I'm counting it, I'm on day 10.

My son has left to visit his girlfriend at school for about 4 days. It feels good not to constantly keep vigil over my belongings. I left my car keys out last night and left my purse on the kitchen table for most of the evening.

My husband is doing 2 days off work, not sure what that will look like...will he drink today? Maybe. I gotta stay focused and not worry about what he will or won't do. I also need to really get comfortable in my head and heart that he may be seeing someone else, that he may just not like spending time with me, and that things may irrevocably be different now. Maybe too much has happened, maybe my dream of a sober husband is never really going to materialize?  Maybe more than detachment, I need to really learn to let go...

A lot to think about.

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