Monday, 18 March 2013

Easy does it

I have been making good progress the past week at keeping my composure, staying calm and sane. It is such hard work when suffering from depression. On Thursday my husband said he was running an errand and would be back in 30 minutes, he didn't return until the wee hours the next morning. His entire bank account empty. I didn't say a word in anger to him. In fact I have stayed calm, told him to deal with his own consequences (ie. no money for gas, cigarettes, etc...for the next 2 weeks) and have gone about my business. I have been pleased that I didn't let his poor choices be a catalyst for me to behave badly.

I have also found out that my son and his girlfriend have made a sound decision, I think she had an abortion this weekend. He won't discuss it, in fact he has been avoiding talking about anything for days and days. Typical, he is so closed and secretive about everything. He also won't talk about the phone call we received from his friend's dad.

I am hanging in, lots of exercise, lots of rest (took 2 two hour naps this weekend), doing some socializing, chores, shopped for a few cute spring things to feel pretty, just keeping busy and mindful. I think I have strung 3 good days together and I'm pleased with myself. My next challenge will be to stick to my guns with my husband. It is critical that he feel the weight of his own decisions and that they impact him directly. 

Feels weird not to rage when I blog...sounds even weirder to feel odd about feeling OK.


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