Last night I came home from work, my husband bitter, demanding that EVERYTHING MUST CHANGE, ONLY THE TRUTH IS ACCEPTABLE!!! He badgered, bullied, and I just ignored him.
I went to bed, slept alright and he left for work today...the work where his mistress is. He called in sick yesterday and didn't go in and I had a feeling he either quit or got let go. I guess I was wrong...he was just avoiding it.
I tried to control my anxiety and insecurity about him going to work where "she" is...and I did OK. He left and I didn't show any emotion. About 2 hours later, I realized he left his wedding ring here. Nice huh? Who needs to tell the truth? Me? It feels so shitty. She is 12 years younger than me...and I'm not even that old. She's pudgy and an ex-meth user. She has 3 small children and a husband of her own. So, that package has more to offer than me. I know I'm not the first wife to feel this way but it kind of feels like he sucked up the best years of my life and when the weight of time / problems / life / etc... started to take it's toll on me, I became so unworthy of even fidelity. However, I am useful enough to provide a vehicle, pay all the bills, groceries, cigarettes, fuel, and so on...He's got a pretty good arrangement going, doesn't he?
Well, fuck it. Two can play this game.