Sunday 16 December 2012

Struggle or surrender?

I realize today that we all struggle in our own way, with our own pain, for our own deeply personal reasons.

My husband relapsed because of his struggle with himself, his pain, his coping skills. My son uses because of his struggle to accept himself, his pain, his feelings about many things. I struggle for all my own reasons, I just don't happen to use drugs or alcohol to cope.

We are a triangle, we are human, we do the best we can with each day we have - sometimes we are selfish and don't care what our behaviours do to others or even to ourselves.  How can I judge what they need to do to get through the day? Do I expect them to live in a way that doesn't hurt me? Is that even fair?

I am more confused than ever, more doubtful than ever, more sad than ever. I hope one day to achieve some higher level of understanding, compassion and to return to a state of hope, love and acceptance of others. That is my struggle. I find it so very interesting that the antonym to struggle is surrender...What does that even look like?

strug·gle   /ˈstrəgəl/

Verb
Make forceful or violent efforts to get free of restraint or constriction.

Noun
A forceful or violent effort to get free of restraint or resist attack.

Synonyms
verb.  fight - wrestle - strive - combat - contend - battle
noun.  fight - battle - combat - conflict - contest - wrestle

Antonyms: surrender,

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